I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
