i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
