need another drink. this is the easiest way
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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