Pappa wants mamma naked
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize