i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
