Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
