(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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