im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My balls are so social today.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
