in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
