ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
