yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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