is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
