it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you will always have a special place in my vag
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Found your dick twin last night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
