Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
