I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i dont even know how to be here
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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