What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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