my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
