Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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