you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
