i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
