The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
