I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
