Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
