We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
