I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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