you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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