i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize