I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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