hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize