She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
