So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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