I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
