You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
