mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
