dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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