So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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