So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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