Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
