I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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