Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
