Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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