if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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