That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
