If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
