PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
