Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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