Who did Billy Mays play for?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
