i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
