my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
