Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
