I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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