is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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