What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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