we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
