she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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