so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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