I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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