I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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