why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Randomize
