the condom got lost in my hair
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
