There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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