Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
