"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
