all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
