Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
