I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
