nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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