Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
