then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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