nut hugger
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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