Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
