The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
